Video Posted 07/29/08 - "Smurf Village Bombed"

Who can forget the smurfs??? Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Baby, Grouchy, Hefty, Brainy, Dreamy, Handy and a lot more... there's also Dopey Smurf right?

Saw this in video, UNICEF campaign against war,  in youtube heheheh (my guilty pleasure when im online! smurfing the smurf village! ayayayay! )

*** THE YOUTUBE VIDEO IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE ***

Lyrics Posted 06/17/08 - You Don't Know Me

You give your hand to me
Then you say hello
I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

No, you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me

I never knew
The art of making love
Though my heart aches
With love for you
Afraid and shy
I've let my chance to go by
The chance that you might
Love me, too

You give your hand to me
And then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me

Posted 06/10/08 - "Monster in the Making"

share ko lang what happened last week and the week before the last...

can't help it...
it's taking me to nowhere...
putting enormous clouds above my head...

some of you knew...
some of you saw it...
some of you just don't have any idea...
i'm not trying to drop something hot by the way...

but these things somehow changed me
a bit maybe...

two weeks ago
somebody called me "a monster in the making"
i admit...
i'm wrong...

two weeks ago
a friend called me "stupid"
i admit...
i let the chance go by...

things are really out of my hand now...
thats what i thought...
but some says, i'm in control...
it's just the twisted mind.

two weeks ago
i am angry
i am sorry
i am guilty
i took every words without resentment...

"i'll fix this mess"
i told myself...

thanks to those who gave their advise...
i became "just a monster" from somebody else's past.

but im afraid another monster would just come out any moment...
i wasnt able to fix the other mess...

after what happened in the pantry...
i don't know what to do or what to think...

i hated what they did but thankful at the same time...

guilt is all over me now...
i just don't know what to do...

don't let the monster run wild...
don't let the monster be tamed...
he's still a monster...
don't let the monster come out.

just a question: IS IT OK TO GIVE IT A TRY JUST TO SEE THE RESULT AS PLAIN AS IT IS? IS IT OK TO TRY SOMETHING JUST TO HAVE A KNACK OF IT AND REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN NEXT? IS IT OK TO MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF THINKING THIS MIGHT WORK WHEN YOU ARE NOT REALLY SURE? IS IT OK TO LIKE SOMEONE BECAUSE THAT SOMEONE LIKES YOU OR JUST STICK TO SOMEONE YOU REALLY LIKE?

feelingero talaga...
just dont want to be a monster again..

i was wrong.
i am wronged.
dont want to do it again.

i know its all up to me...

its just that im not liking any of it...

felt like sharing right this very moment...

thats why i blogged.

Posted 06/09/08 - "Lazy Monday"

I woke up late kanina... around 9am na cguro...
read the monday paper,
read some RD articles (about parenting! hahahaha),
after taking a bath, I played John Mayer's CONTINUUM album...

dati solve na ko sa paganun-ganun...
pero kaninang umaga... parang kulang.

I went online after lunch...

kausap ko si RAIMEN PRECLARO LARA na busy daw pero reply naman ng reply...
hahahaha

kausap ko din si MAKO, high school friend, a very close friend of mine...
she's 15 weeks pregnant
we talked about the would-be-name of her baby kaya lang bukas pa daw malalaman yung gender.
syempre maganda suggestion ko...
sabi ko why not "PICHAN"
PICHAN, my codename nung highschool kami...
she and et gave me that code...
i learn who Pichan was during her despedida last 2006...
Pichan happens to be a pig!
well ok lang... akala ko kasi dog... hahahaha
I suggested din na "ITALIANO JUAN" kung boy..
kasi sa ITALY sya manganganak... hahahaha
(bright idea dba?)
kung babae naman JOMAK! hahahaha
combination ng nickname nilang mag-asawa...
hehehe... lokohan to the max ulit..

may kausap din ako isa pa,
pero akin na lang kung anong napagusapan hehehe...

i had a nice chat...

1:00 pm we're supposed to visit my sis' crib..
pero when the sun sets na lang daw kami pumunta...

what am i to do?

no new dvd to watch...
no new book to read...

then i decided to watch a movie...
took a quick shower...
di ko alam kung san ako manonood..
sa megamall ba? galleria? shang? eastwood?
put on my shorts...
kaya lang naisip ko baka sa eastwood/shang ako mapadpad kaya nagpants ako...
kuha ako ng shirt...
never give up ung nakuha ko...
when i was to fix my hair...
ang taba ko pala...
hahaha
so palit ako something darker...
i end up wearing my "to be" shirt...
hehehe

now
san ako?
and ano papanoorin ko?
21 or Prince Caspian or Kung Fu Panda?

sakay ako trike... sabi ko meralco...
now my destination dependS kung ano ang unang dumaan...
(meron kasi dun papuntang ortigas (megamall/robinson), libis via ugong, and QUIAPO na pede padaanin sa shang)
bahala na!
let the wind take me where it blows...

pagkadating ko sa meralco sakto may nagaabang na byaheng robinson...
so sa robinsons galleria ako pupunta...

on my way to galleria, isip ako ano panonoorin...
21 or prince caspian or kung fu panda...
sabi ko 21 na lang at least ung setting nya is something real..
kasi kakapanood ko lang ng DVD ng LOTR last sat, tapos pamangkin ko pa panata ang panonood ng Harry Potter...
so i'll watch 21...
not sure din kasi if there were souls who would love to watch narnia with me...
feelingero???
hahahah

2:20 nasa galleria na ako...
21 would start ng 5:30 pm pa..
and sa cinema 7 lang sya...
morning movie on that theatre is prince caspian
so its up to kung fu or prince caspian..
Prince caspian would start at 2:45 sa cinema 7...
so un na!
and NARNIA's story is not known to me...
di ko sya nababasa...
lam ko lang dati eh, play sya ng trumpet..

bought a meal sa kfc... yun kasi ung nakakabusog for 55 pesos only..

so andun nako sa loob ng sinehan..
as expected.. konti lang tao... maliit lang sinehan kasi dun
the farthest seat from the screen is full..
so medyo dun ako sa pangalawang lane from the back..
not bad though..
at least nasa gitna ako...

di pa nagsisimula ung movie...
the kids on my back were joking and laughing so loud...
around 4-6 yrs old lang cguro sila...
they were more than 4 kids..
tapos ung guardian malapit sa isle..
ok lang na maingay sila kasi di pa naman naguumpisa ung movie...

then dumilim na sa theatre...
the movie is about to start...
the kid on my back is kicking ...
natatamaan ung inuupuan ko..
lumingon ako
he didn't seem to notice...
di rin ako na notice nung guardian to at least sawayin yung kid...

pero bata pa tlaga kaya hinayaan ko na lang...

they were like my pamangkin na tanung ng tanong kaya di ka makaconcentrate...
luckily di ako ung tinatanong nila kaya pede ko iignore...
which i succeeded naman...

pero...

nung war scene na...

sumigaw si king peter "FOR NARNIA!!!"

gulat ako...
kasi may mga swords na biglang lumabas
not sa screen pero sa likuran ko!

natawa naman ako kasi from my both sides...
their arms were stretched...
susugod din sila...

the sword is made up of straw and plastic cup covers!

buti di nila ako napagkamalang kalaban
kamukha ko kasi ung bida...
the rightful heir to the throne!
hahahaha

so another kakaibang experience!!!

salamat sa makukulit na kids...

Posted 05/18/08 - "G to 12"

I told a friend that my daydreaming was ended/concluded when I reached G that day.

But my very insane mind was buzzed last friday... and the dreaming went on...

Status meeting every friday at 7am.
Mahirap gumising pero kailangan...
Every friday, you can see Lek sleeping sa shuttle.
Not really tulog na tulog though...

That particular friday..
meron ako nakita..
maganda
petite
angel locsin look-a-like
husky ang boses
which made her a lot cuter..
hehehe

That Friday morning, I was alive and kicking..
Her eyes caught mine..
pero deadma lang sya..
she continue to talk dun sa kasama nya..
I can't help it...
the urge to know her is really there...

pero di ko pa rin kinaya...

ok lang...
cguro madaming friday pa na makikita ko sya..

whahehehe...

baba ako sa tapat ng trafalgar...
though ayaw ko i-admit...
masaya ako...
it felt like there's light in sight..
imagining things with that stranger...
im a hopeless romantic.

malapit na ko sa citibank tower.
may petite na naka brown na bumaba ng taxi...
wow ang legs
pumasok sya sa citibank..
hinabol ko...
but wala naman ako balak gawin...
hinabol ko para lang tignan...

hehehe..

the girl turned out to be the same girl from another friend's blog...
i did not tell my friend baka kasi feeling nya he'll be CHAStized.
and i told them before na "di naman maganda yun"..
di ko alam na there will come a time na hahabulin ko un..
hehehe

nweiz..
nothings changed...

magaling syang pumorma...
pede na...
pero di talaga eh...
hahahaha

(feelingero ang blogger na ito)

malapit na kami sa elevator sa citibank center...
syempre deadma ang gwapong blogger...
i pressed 12..

may isang mamang pumasok..
sumandal...

i remained standing sa center...
ung girl na hinabol ko pumwesto sa corner on my right side...

pasara na ung pinto..
pero may humabol...

and she's the girl that gave me the funny feeling...

i told myself...
nakakaawa naman ako if i keep on being happy just to be near her...
then i told myself- enough!

get a life lek!

that girl is standing on my left side...
nakasandal
facing me..

i was staring sa screen...

counting from G to 12...
18th floor ung mama...

i fixed my eyes on the screen...
i had this feeling that she might be looking at me...

the door opened.
syempre ako unang lalabas...

i punched my card to open the door ng office..
when i turned.
she's there smiling at me...

what the heck!!!

she saw me???

i held the door open...

pumasok sya still smiling..
like an approval...

i still held the door para naman dun sa isang girl na hinabol ko
pero she still used her proximity...

i went inside...
that girl from my blog-
we almost walk side by side...

but the truth still remains...

I should get a life!

thanks na lang sa kilig.

Posted 05/09/08 - "12 to G"

There we stood inside the box,
I pressed G, you stood still.
From the corner of my eye I can see you staring at the screen,
It's as if your counting down from 12.

That very instance hurts as hell.
I might be assuming but I hope not.

I am not a fool but not wise enough to know what had happened.
Can't even find an explanation nor a simple "because" to reason out.
I guess the reality just caught me.

To you, I could never be more than just a number in the statistics.
I could never be more than just a fat guy.
I could never be more than just another face.

What the hell am I thinking???
You don't even know me, I dont even know you.
I've just known you by your name, and by your face-
I've just known you from my own book.
So what am I expecting???

I really don't know.
This funny feeling never left me...

It keeps me hanging...

Loving the thought that one day we've got a chance to meet...

And only a chance can tell...

A chance when you finally look at me...

See me...

And then we're on the same box...
You're in the center, I'm in the corner...
A question for you-
Did I ever existed in that place and time?

I guess not.
You just keep on counting.
And its over when we reached G.

Its clear that I've dreamed too much...
The "box ride" from 12 till G was such an opener.

If there could only be another you...
I would want the other you to feel me...
Feel the ride from 12 till G with me.

That would be, most probably, the ride of my life that I've been waiting...
From 12 till G and back...

Posted 03/22/08 - "... and these are the changes"

Being the youngest and the only boy in the family made it so easy to sleep at night without worrying what the next morning would bring. Kahit ano pa man yan, ok lang! Anjan naman Nanay ko to prepare breakfast, andyan din Tatay ko, di ko pa man hinihingi andyan na ung box having that thing that i wanted... andyan din tatlong ate ko... in case gusto ko magjollibee or mcdo tawag sa panganay... in case kailangan kong magandang damit para sa party, andyan yung pangalawa... in case gusto ko lumabas ng gabi, andyan yung isa ko pang ate para pagbuksan ako ng pinto... pero if i did something wrong... wala akong kakampi... lahat yan sabay sabay magsasalita... di man ako pinapalo ng parents ko (pumapalatak lang sila ng mga 30 minutes, yun yung hidden talent nila) tyak may kurot, pingot at medyo masakit na hampas from my three elder sisters.... but that was before...

Last Saturday March 15, nag-anak ako sa binyag. Baby ng pinaka-close ko na couple nung college... medyo big time... dati pag mag-aanak ako sa binyag kung ano lang makita ko sa mall... ayun na! wala nang isip-isip... ganun naman cguro din sa iba pag sinabing kukuhain kang ninong ng anak nila nang di mo malaman why oh why... "why me?" ok lang sana kung kaibigan ka or pinsan ka... though meron na din naman ako inaanak from friends and cousins pero i was still studying that time kaya sila ate muna bahala sa gift ko... pero last saturday its different... first time ko magprepare con todo-todo sa binyagan... that couple kasi is really close to me... alam ko lahat ng pinagdaanan nila at mejo nakasama ako sa kalokohan nung guy... hahahaha... (mind you, mamamatay ako sa guilt nung panahong iyon, imaginin mo naglalabas ng sama ng loob si girl at eto ikaw nipagtatakpan si guy! whahehehehe) pero past na yun! and they are happily married now... katuwa nga sila eh... kinuha nila ninong/ninang both my parents nung wedding nila... so back to the preparation sa binyag... january pa nung sinabi sakin na march nga nila bibinyagan baby nila pero wala pa exact date... I was excited, I wanted to see all stuffs na pang-infant sa malls... pero I was in night shift that time kaya wala masyado time to look for stuffs... then the invitation came 2 weeks before the binyagan, luckily, day shift nako... godparents din ung iba naming college friends... which gave me a hardtime thinking kung anong gift ibibigay ko... syempre i wanted mine be super special... heheheh (yabang no!)... sobrang di ako mapakali kasi last time na pumunta ako sa haus nila almost lahat ng gamit eh meron na ung baby... i asked other godparents kung ano gift nila (kasi thursday na nun wala pa din ako gift), ung isa toy daw (which turned out to be a baby laptop), ung isa high chair, ung isa baby bouncer (hanggang ngaun di ko pa din alam kung ano yun)... i asked the mother of the baby if ever meron requests, para lang safe... then sabi nya I was the fourth godparent na nagtanong nun... wala sya maisagot... hayyyy... then i made suggestions, lahat ng sinabi ko meron na... wala nako maisip kaya inisip ko na lang another toy will do... pero I end up buying a gift certificate from one of the studios in piazza serendra... hehehehe... may photoshoot si baby...

During the binyag, I really felt different... I was excited to know what the baby might become... Engineer din kaya sya when he grow up like both of his parents? This very thought surprised me... WHOOOAAAHHHH LEK!!! YOU'RE A REAL GODPARENT NOW!!! I told myself. Sa reception we had a chance to talk about their experiences and my friend made sure that we understood what she is talking about! Giving birth is really not just giving birth to a soul but giving a rebirth of your soul as well, and for the guy, its as if he saw himself extending, pushing the limits of his imagination... I heard a lot of stories about giving birth and being a new father... but I heard it from my cousins who are older than me, so it sounds like a lecture and from a childhood friend whom I really object their preganancies... I was immature then... so idealistic... So my friends words really shot right through me... Its as if the words are my parents... I always am thankful to my parents but my friends made me realize that being thankful is not just enough...

That same day, we try to settle with our plans for the coming holy week... pupunta kami Bolinao... excited ako... planned everything to make the trip as memorable as the previous trips... pero they realize they wanted to have fun, akala ko "fun" na yung uminom by the beach with bonfire, yung ganung klase.. un pala they wanted something like mindoro sling-kind-of-fun... awww!... ayaw ko dun, but i did not object... i don't want to ruin their momentum... buti na lang two days before we go to Galera (again!)... naisip nila na mahirap ang transpo... crowded na din dun sa beach! kaya cancelled na! move na lang sa april (at least meron pa ako time to convince them to go to other place naman)...

So the trip being cancelled made me spend the holy week at home... with my family

Thursday. Sumama ako sa Visita Iglesia... we visited 14 churches... mostly were in different towns of Rizal.. I had the chance to look at my Aunts, they're hair now grayed like my parents, they've got lines on their faces... and half of the souls sa sasakyan were ages 10 and below... One kid asked, "Are we going to Antipolo?", My ate said yes. They are excited.. Sabi nya sa younger brother nya... "Nasa bundok yun!", The young boy's eyes grew bigger... "Talaga?! malayo ba yun... san yun?" "aakyat ba tayo dun?" "alam mo ate, nakakita na ko ng bundok nung nagpunta kami sa enchanted." This very line made me sad..kasi dati sa bahay nila kitang kita yung bundok ng antipolo... I just loved the view before... dun kami nagba-bike... and the wind felt like it came from the mountains... it really felt that close... pero ngaun, hinarangan na yung view ng mga apartments... Being the drama king that I am, I continued looking back to our old days... when we are playing at our Lolo's house... sa second floor... i missed the scent of the wood and the old furnitures... they're gone now... the old wooden house was gone... the place where we use to play taguan and the famous "kidnap-kidnapan" is now made of stones and cement... (While writing this very blog, i wanted to paint the house, bawat kanto ng bahay are still clear in my mind... kaya lang may problema... di ako nagppaint!, at medyo nakakatawa ang biglang maupo sa kahit saang parte ng bahay namin ngaun with canvass and paints... with matching apron syempre dapat may bigote para feel na feel ang pagiging painter!!!) so ayun... namiss ko lang ung mga panahong pag may bisita iglesia di mo kailangan mag-ambag... libre lahat... hahhahaha.... ayun yun eh!

Then Biyernesanto. As we always does, join kami sa prusisyon... Dati pag Biyernesanto, pupunta kami lahat sa bahay ng tita ko... dumadaan kasi sa harapan ng bahay nila yung prusisyon... while yung mga parents namin and my elder sisters will join the procession, we (mga kids) will stay at tita's house and watch the very long procession, making notes of the names ng mga santo na nandun... now, kasama na ko sa nagpprusisyon and mga nephews and neices will stay at my tita's house... the same old house where we, as kids ate puto, ginatan (others call it ginataan) at kung anu-anong kakanin... pero ngaun the kids ate pasta, sandwhiches, juice in different colors.. lugaw lang yata kilala nila... i don't know if they knew what ginatan is...

Black Saturday. The malls/grocery store are now open. We (me and my sis) are supposed to do the grocery. (Ung dalawang ate ko talaga ung naggro-grocery pero absent ung isa, nasa Tuguegarao, kaya ako substitute). Biglang di pwede si ate... hayyyy... I have to go on my own... So punta ako supermarket alone... nipost ko ung listahan (nasa post-it) sa push cart... madali lang bilhin ung mga delata... ung ibang nasa list are meat and vegetables... before pag naggrocery sila, madami silang tinitignan sa mga vegetables at halos bale-balentongin yung mga meat/chicken na nakapack naman... so thats what i did... well cguro natuto ako about vegetables... pero dun sa mga meat... kahit anong balentong gawin ko dun...pare-parehas naman... color and all parehas... nakita ko ung isang ale... mukhang mayaman... pinindot-pindot nya yung mga nakapack na chicken breast... i was watching closely pero syempre di ko pinapahalata... i tried to examine hams naman that time... cguro 4 packs yung pinindot pindot nya bago nakapili...umalis na yung ale... ako na lang yung andun... tinandaan ko yung ibang packs na di nya napili... trying to analyze bakit hindi un... pinindot ko isa isa... "MHAY GAWD!" lahat frozen... at pinindot ko lahat ng packs na andun kahit yung nasa kahon pa... frozen talaga... nilapitan ko ung cart nung ale... langya matigas din ung kanya... akala ko may natutunan ako sa kakapindot nya... naloko ako nang matandang yun! so after three hours ng kaiikot at kakapili, kakahanap at kakatext kung anong klaseng pickles (buo o durog), ilang grams ng alaska evap, ilang hotdog, kung ok ba yung iba-ibang kulay na elbow macaroni na ang reply eh "di naman ipandedecor yan!"... nakumpleto ko din yung list... hirap pala! dati kasi kung ano lang yung kulang yun lang ung binibili ko... at ang mas mahirap eh ang magbuhat... di kasi ako nagtaxi... hahahaha!

Easter Sunday. Before, may easter egg hunt sa bahay ng tita ko... meron mga cash price bawat itlog... pinakamalaki eh 50 pesos... that was more than 10 years ago... the event just died down... sad that we're not able to do that anymore... cguro dahil tumanda na kami... but now... marami na kids... there are 11 kids in the family... I want them to experience the egg hunt in our house... pero dahil kulang ang budget at ang mga tao'y nagkukuripot, i just bought plastic eggs with jelly beans and egg-shaped chocs inside... (meron din money and some tokens).. let them search the eggs... i have the cam readied... so when they grow up... they would knew how they look like... not worrying about anything... just searching the egg and be surprised whats inside...

marami silang namiss... di na nila meexperience yung mga masasayang moments like we had... cguro nga sa panahon ngaun eh ayun na yung trip nila... pero it was imposed... kasalanan din ng mas nakakatanda...

paano magtutumbang preso ang mga bata kung ang tsinelas nila eh crocs at havaianas? matutuwa ka ba kung ikaw ang bumili nun?

Posted 02/28/08 - "Back to my old self"

I woke up around 8AM. After several months, I had breakfast with my parents ulit! hehehehhe... then sinalang ko si John Mayer... whooooaaaaahhhh... that was great!!! it felt like ages since I played it with big speakers... then basa ng newspaper dun sa may labas... i dont know but it really felt good... almost 7 months na din kasi ako night shift...

Shower nako... I turned on the lights... malamlam... mapupundi na.... pinatay ko... sakit kasi sa mata... then my tatay told me to buy a new bulb... wow!!! after several months ngaun lang ulit ako nautusan... it really felt soooo right! houseboy na naman ako...

Then I put on my shorts, and my favorite tshirt from tonic... had my hair clayed... hehehehe.... syempre tsinelas lang... when i went out... medyo cloudy, so I put my jacket on... sakay ako trike...then pagdating sa hardware, sarado pa!!! namfff naman!!! alas diyes y media na ah... i decided to wait kasi medyo marami naman customer na nagaantay... I sent a message na intay ko pa magbukas ung store. then bigla may dumaan na fx going to ortigas (megamall/robinsons)... akalain mong pinara ko... whahahahha.... send ako message " sa robinson's nako bibili... may titignan na din ako" reply naman tatay ko "SIGE!"...

Balak ko talaga bumili ng Kite Runner na book... excited ako... sa galleria, punta ako sa best seller... ikot... andito lang ung book ah... nasan na??? ikot ako.abi.. andun pala... sa tabi ng dear john ni nicholas spark... pero nagdalawang isip ako... di ko muna binili... tinignan ko kung showing na sya... ayun showing na nga!... bumili ako ng ticket! hahahahah.... may gawd! 161 na pala ang sine!!! text ako ulit...

"nood muna ako sine... hehehehe! pero bili ako mamaya ng bumbilya"

"ok" 

sa sinehan ako pa lang ang tao... cinema 1 lang ang kite runner... so wala ako magagawa.... reserved seats un... bought burger and bottled water na din ...  sa loob, ung holder ng drinks sa may upuan eh medyo shallow... di designed for bottled water so bumagsak sya at gumulong napunta sya sa likod ng front seat or sa front ng seat na nasa second lane... pag tayo ko... tyempo... national anthem... thinking i was the only one in theatre i sang heartfully... mind you.. i stood up straight and my right hand in my left chest (i just remember my friends nung highschool kami pag may mass... dinadaig namin ang choir!... bwahahahhahaha). Then natapos ung national anthem... pagharap ko there were 5 or 6 people na pala... buti na lang madilim.. balik na ko sa seat ko... thinking baka naisip nila na pumunta pa ako sa harap to sing the national anthem... whahahhahahaha..... i had fun talaga...

the movie? ok naman ung istorya... pero far from what i expected... ineexpect ko kasi true-to-life story... natawa din ako bakit ko namang naisip na ganun???... hehhehe.... maganda ung story... i felt like walking on the streets of afghanistan... different from what i saw sa news and documentaries before... the movie felt like real... and there's one part that moved me... i dont know if others felt the same dun sa scene na un... ung scene na nasa mosque sila and may chant... you know the tune na parang 2 lang ang notes, up and down... kulot kulot... first time ko kasi maintindihan ung song... its not different from what the catholics have... the movie used english lyrics... it was very moving... for me... and one line hit me "There is a way to be good again."

its already two o'clock... then namataan ko ang uncle johns... so kain ako... i use to like their pizza and spag... pero ngaun parang wala lang... sana nag mcdo na lang ako... hehehe... 

papunta na sana ako sa hardware... biglang may tumawag sakin... "HOY!LEKULET!!!" its been ages na may marinig ako na may tumawag saking ganun.. classmate ko nung highschool... kwentuhan... so sinamahan ko pa sya kumain which is a waste of time (di naman nya cguro to mababasa... hehehehe ) ... pababa nako sa hardware ng namataan ko ang isang shirt sa topman... at tumataginting na 50% off daw... since kakilala ko ang manager nila... pasok ako... nampotah... walang kwenta... wala sya dun... kailangan ko pa din ng discount from him kasi more than 1k pa rin ang price kahit 50% off na... para lang sa ikatatahimik ko... sinukat ko na din... buti na lang mahal... kailangan ko pa mag-gym para bumagay sakin... hahahahaha....

then i want doughnut!!! so punta ko megamall to buy a dozen... hehehehe... dun na din ako bumili ng bulb...

so nakauwi ako 4:30 na...

"nakabili ka ba ng bulb?"

"opo"

"kala ko ikaw gumawa eh!"

toink!!!

So here's Lek back to his old self, lakwatsero...  with his shorts and shirt and slippers and jacket, he's so back in his life except for the black circle around his eyes... mukha pa din syang adik.... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Lyrics Posted 02/19/08 - Ready for a Fall

you sit there in my shadows
and you call it your relief
don't be the one with bad eyes for
the things that I could see
don't give me that

the darkness has no armor
need protection from the air
high hopes through time passing
when I see I want you there

i can't believe
you're the one for me
if it was this easy to find you
i should be ready for a fall

now my wonders rally
around the person I once was
like a bird that I've been helping
hope you're healed and strong
you never know when you might have to fly

where will you go after me
where will you go after I set you free
and I don't know you from a page in my book
though I should...


* la lang, this song was playing in my head the whole night...

Posted 02/14/08 - "How to say Happy Valentine"

I have received a text message from someone...

So delighted that prompted me to reply "That is sweet! Thanks"

This very message reminds me that today is in fact, VALENTINE's DAY...

and I don't belong...

I remember when I was in grade school, marami ako nareceive na cards, you know the kind na bondpaper folded four times and may mga drawing na hearts, some have heart-shaped cutouts, and others have this effect na ni-smudge yung crayon using cotton... hmmmm... well during those time it was so easy to say "Happy Valentine's!!!" It's just like an art project that open our eyes sa mga kahalayan... ooops.. "Romance" of course... 

In my High School days, Valentine is a bit more exciting... they are more artistic this time... there were love letters... stuff toys from blue magic... chocolates... flowers wrapped in a plastic cover... its nice to say "Happy Valentines" to someone because they will answer you back very differently... and one way or another, there's always one person way back in high school that made us blush during Valentines Day... Valentine at 16 is truly remarkable... hehehehe...

Then, College na, people are big time now. They want it big, chocolates are wrapped in gold, roses are with long stems, 100 pcs of white roses, some prefer tulips... makakakita ka din ng mga giant teddy bears na nagco-commute... But this time its kinda hard to say "Happy Valentines Day!" I remember trembling this very day... A good friend of mine which I got a crush on pero secret lang, demanded a gift from me... Di ako nagprepare kasi nga Valentine is so cheesy for me... BUT!!! I have a poem already written for her.. Carefully folded in my wallet... I was about to hand her that nang biglang may giant teddy bear na lumapit sa kanya... and everybody thought that was romantic... they are all teasing and clapping... I put the letter back in my pocket... Was I hurt? No! honestly not! I was happy for them... I did it just to have a knack of the so-called valentine...

It's so easy for me to say Happy Valentines before... like when I made fun of the people carrying "valentine stuffs" across the street... I made fun of my sisters watching a valentine concert with their boyfriend and then next morning you wake up as if you're in a flowershop.. I made fun of my friends so tidy and different preparing for their dates and telling them what to say like...

"Sabihin mo sa date mo, Happy Valentines tapos kagatin mo ung rose!?"

"Pag kiniss ka labas mo dila mo"

"Sabihin mo kiss lang kasi malulukot yung polo mo"

"isayaw mo, hawakan mo sa kamay tapos sa pwet"

all those stuff na pawang kagaguhan... then I would ask why go out on this day? They will just answer with a smile and a tap on my back... its weird... i just don't get it

But when we started making chocolates for valentines, I have concluded that Valentines day is not weird but CRAZY!!! They have requested to put their letters inside the chocolate... boy! hirap gawin as it keeps on floating... Others requested to put their GF's name, a letter per piece... Others even requested to make a penis-shaped chocolate which I have to do at 2am when everyone was asleep... I even remember someone ordered three boxes and each box have different names... and none of those names was her mother's or her sister's... So this is how they say Happy Valentines... These are the faces of valentines...

Those are in fact the faces of someone else's valentines...

CRAZY isn't it??

Its a shame but I want to be as CRAZY as it looks...

so I grabbed my cellphone and started to type..

"Hey! Happy Valentines! You know what? Im your future!!! hehehehe"  -  erased

"Happy Valentines... Im here... just here... just in case..."  - erased

"Hi, just want to greet u Happy Valentines!!! miss you... "  - erased

"Hello, Happy Valentines,,, its been a while eh.... " di ko na masundan kaya erase na lang ulit

"Happy Valentine... just drop by to say be mine!"  - erased

ang hirap... after all these years... still hard... after what has been said and done...

How could someone say "Happy Valentine" if his heart is waiting?

How could someone say "Happy Valentine" if his heart is breaking?

How could someone say "Happy Valentine" to someone he wants and knowing that, that someone wants somebody else?

How could someone say "Happy Valentine" to someone he is so willing to give  his heart only to find that, that someone won't give her heart to him?

Was it worth a try?

Well life is full of choices... and i chose to stand still... hold my breathe... get the work done...

send the message...

was there a reply?  fortunately after 10 minutes yes...

"OMG! bat ngaun ka lang nagprmdam ha!!! kala ko nasntch n nmn fon mo kaya di ka nagttxt... talk to u later... so many to tell... wait for an hour lek pls..."

whoahhhh!!! this is great... buti na lang wala ako pasok.... my heart jumping

A little more than an hour after, the phone rang...

"HOY! namiss kaya kita"

"sencia na busy eh, night shift pa"

"ano na namang kaepalan yang tinetext mo, nakakatuwa, gawa mo ba un, naku! i send mo na sa prospect mo noh"

"hahahaha"

"by the way, im so happy"

"i can tell"

"hehehe... friend talaga kita... guess what just happened?"

"errr- "

"hahahaha... di mo na ko makukuha... meron na ko... kaya wag ka na umasa.."

"kapal mo! hello!!!"

"joke lang. lam ko naman kung sino gusto mo... yung inaantay mo wag mo na antayin get a life... you deserve better..."

"naks! friend talaga kita, you never let me down..."

"ako pa!"

i cant stand the conversation.. It just ended with "Happy Valentines na lang!"

so there it goes... she did not realized that i already sent the message to whom it was inteded to be sent... the first valentine that i decided to be cheesy, phony and crazy so i might belong... never worked out...

yan ang hirap pag gising ang dugo mo habang tulog ang mundo... your face to face with yourself...

Happy Valentines na lang!