and another repost....

Chastised

I’ll play you Mozart’s

Till my fingers bleed

I’ll build you a castle

Till my body breaks

I’ll paint you sunrise

Till the sun sets

I’ll sing you love songs

Till my voice fades

I’ll breathe you sweet words

Till my last breath

I’ll give you my heart

Till it’s last beat

I’ll let your sunlight blind me

I’ll let your melody deafened me

I’ll let your sweet words mute me

I’ll let your touches numb me

I’ll let them all to burn me

I’ll let them all to drown me

I’ll let them all to wound me

I’ll let them all to cut me

I chastised myself ----

Baptize me.

another repost...

What's in the eye that made me cry?

My eyes are not working well.

They can’t see anyone nor anything but you.

It seems like your picture was posted on my brain.

I had my breakfast as if you’re the one who prepares it.

But reality tells me my plate was empty.

I sat in front of the TV watching as if you’re beside me.

But reality tells me the show was over.

I had my lunch as if you’re with the rest of us.

But reality tells me to pass the ketchup.

I listened to the lines of the song with

“I do know you from the page of my book.”

Still it was you

But confused by the next line

“I should be ready for a fall…”

Is it a fall in love or a fall from my grip on you?

Late that afternoon,

I sat beside the window wishing you would pass by

Luckily you did and gave me that look

I rushed outside waiting for you to return

But reality tells me the lamp lights are on.

I had my dinner alone

I stared at the unlit candle in the middle of the table

Then magical things happened

Candles lit

Fragrance of wine

Shades of red

Petals from the window

And there you are

Sitting in front of me

I looked into your eyes

But in a wink

You’re gone…

I go to the sink and brush my teeth

I saw your reflection in the mirror

You’re walking towards me

Giving me that look

My mouth was kept wide open

But the taste of the menthol tells me you’re not there.

I go to the bathroom and cry

Did I ever crossed your mind

Like you do?

I go to bed and lay myself to sleep

Praying that in my dream you would come

But the tear in my eye let me realize its insanity.

Then my phone rings

Your name on the display

Was it real or it’s just me imagining?
But the knock outside tells me it is real

I answer the phone and you’re there on the other end

Asking me to walk around the village

I put on my pants and my jacket and rushed outside.

There you are, still wearing the dress you wore when you passed by

I closed my eyes for a moment

Expecting you’ll be gone the moment I open it

But there you are standing, smiling

I walk towards you looking deep into your eyes.

There is something in your eye that move my veins,

They make my heart beat fast

I am excited

I shiver

Still looking through you

I’m falling

I’m breaking

I’m crying

I’m dying

There is something in your eyes that made me realize

That you don’t see me

But still, I kept smiling

Then you spoke “Hello!”

Then shared the great time you had

And the love you’ve felt for someone who’s not me…

Just call me LEK

You don’t get to call me by my first name with authority

If you’re not my parents

You don’t get to call me “Ngek”

If you’re not my sister

You don’t get to call me by my last name

If you’re not my professor nor my superior

You don’t get to call me “Lek”

If you’re not my friend

You don’t get to call me “bitter”

If you don’t know

How I planned to become sweet

You don’t get to call me “liar”

If you don’t know

How I patched things up to protect

You don’t get to call me “naïve”

If you don’t know

How I gone through my experience

You don’t get to call me “broken”

If you don’t know

How I put up the pieces

You don’t get to call me “selfish”

If you don’t know

How I shared myself

You don’t get to call me “heartbreaker”

If you don’t know

How I mend

You don’t get to call me “loser”

If you don’t know

How I played

You don’t get to call me “slave”
If you don’t know

Who my master is

You don’t get to call me whatever you would like to call me

If you don’t know

How I live

Because you would get to call me “LEK”

If you knew how I live.