The Bakit List - July

Counting the planes that passes by this piece of the sky

DISCONNECT.

I'm not sure if I already mentioned one of my favourite things to do when I was younger - watching the night sky through the window.

I was supposed to have a one week mandatory leave from office this month. I don't have any plans of taking the ML (Mandatory Leave) this month but due to some uncertainties in our work project I was asked to take the ML. So I immediately surfed the net about workshops and short courses/classes that I can take just to make the week productive and nourishing as well. I thought of attending a short story writing and calligraphy class. It is one of my dreams to be part of somebody else's shelf and I thought attending a short story-writing class is one way to achieve that dream. I thought of learning calligraphy because I heard this skill can make you earn good amount of money. Doing what you like and earning isn't a bad idea after all. 

So everything is in place.

Short Story Writing Class

Calligraphy Class

Driving Lessons

Understanding Stock Market 

I was excited to do all these. I am excited to take my mandatory leave.

But due to another uncertainties (yes, again), I was asked to retract my mandatory leave. I perfectly understand the demands of the project. So with a heavy heart, I said goodbye to these plans. Sigh.

While feeling the disappointment of these kinds of lemons life has given me, I chose to disconnect.

I just laid down with my back flat on the floor and looked at the piece of the gloomy sky. I put my phone and my laptop away. Did not care about the messages coming in. I just wanted to stay there. Counting the planes that passes by that piece of sky.

Suddenly all the things feels familiar.

I'm not disappointed anymore. I just loved being there alone in silence, staring out the glass door. Nakahiga lang ako dun maghapon and I feel very much okay. I can actually do that the whole day. 

I was expecting that I'll have a hard time going to work the following Monday because I'm supposed to be doing something else. That's me. If some things did not go according to my plan I really have a hard time going back on track. I can say I'm still functional but I am pissed that easy. But surprisingly I'm not. I can actually joke about the 'mailap' na bakasyon.

So I've learned to disconnect, to just clear your thoughts. At the end of the day, it will be the decisions that we are making that actually bombarded us that we should keep on going even sometimes we just need to stop. Labo ba? hahaha

Anyways, July should have been the month I took a vacation and learnt something that would have let me have my first step towards one of my dreams. But July actually have forced me one way or another to pause for a while and breathe.

Sure sooner or later, the project will be demanding and it may get us all out of our wits. I may have to ask myself to disconnect for a while.

Why don't we just stop and smell the flowers? :)

The Bakit List - June

Why we don't need to ask "Bakit?" sometimes...

My original idea to post for the month of June is about the little projects that I have set for myself that concerns finances, a possible income while doing what we love. I have been discussing with my dear block mates, with a dear friend and with my dear sisters about my business ideas and my proposals. I also would like to include of my adventures in stocks/trading. It would be about "Why Not Learn to Risk Something out of your Comfort Zone."

But not today.

Today is about not asking Why or Why Not. I don't want to write about another What-Ifs that I have. 

I just would like to write about the two little girls who touched me and thought me not to question anything. They are my angels.

June 2013 when I met Zoe, my niece. 

Since the day that she came to our lives, I have a renewed energy that I wanted to be well and be the best Tito that she will ever have. Now that she is a bright and healthy three-year old toddler, I enjoyed talking to her and her innocent response makes me want to be better everyday. I want to do all the right things so I can be the adult that I once thought I needed when I was young. She is always in my prayer and all I wanted for her is to be the best person that she can be. Her cute little voice that calls me "Tolek" makes my heart smile. She is the gift that the family really needed. The day that she came, it is as if there's a new string that binds us all again. 

She had a health problem during her early days. I remember her coming home finally to our house in Pasig only to rush her again to the hospital because she had fever. She was just 4 days old back then.   Thankfully she survived every needles and she was able to kick the sickness' butt and out of her system. She is a warrior and a living angel and the love of our lives. She is our daily dose of happiness.

June 2016, I met another baby. A beautiful chinita baby with a large bough in her head and cute matching fancy dress. Like any other baby, her innocent smiles captures me that I talk about her cuteness to my sisters. But for some reasons, this baby took her first steps towards heaven.

The moment I got the message of her passing I felt heartbroken. I asked how could life be that short. I thought about the parents, I was assuming that they might have a lot of questions that nobody can answer. But when I saw them, their love to their first born is all over the room, it is overwhelming. You can see the sadness yet all the love is there. There might be some questions but what I saw was a complete surrender to our creator. It made me realise that sometimes we need not to ask of his plans and just trust him. I've heard about this all the time but I never understood. But in her wake, I was able to say those words to myself - I understood.

 

And all I want to say is that it was June when I met an angel. I met an angel one summer...

The Bakit List - May

Saying "YES"

I am not certain if each one of us have secret dreams like me. When I was younger the thought of my works being a part of a library or a museum or being played on air excites me. Believing that one day it will become a reality. I even imagined myself accepting a Hugo Award and a Grammy too. Well, that's what we do right? We dream, we just keep on dreaming. I just want to tell a good story, may it be written or through some artwork. 

But growing up in a third world country, your priority is how to survive. So practicality, if not a big factor, is an essential contributing factor on how one will live his life. 

First you need to figure out how are you going to live from paycheck to paycheck. So whatever work you have, you have to be at your best. Focused on getting things right and then you set your goal on that path. Then you'll start thinking how will you be able to maintain it, keep the momentum going and also to save some. Then eventually you'll start thinking for your future including the future of your love ones. You became busy building your life. Your dream is just to have a good life, to spend time with your love ones, to travel, to experience all the good things life can offer. We are slowly seeing and agreeing at the mantra of "YOLO".  In my case, my secret dream somehow faded away. 

I just couldn't believe myself that I find it hard to believe that my secret dreams could still come true.

Until I saw one post in facebook about some prominent individuals pursuing their dreams even after their midlife crisis. hihi.

I know that those people i look up to chose to embrace their 'secret dreams' and worked really hard to make sure it will happen. Some of them had a tough life. They studied to understand and nourish their gift. And with a little bit of luck they were able to do things their way. Their works transcends and left a mark in someone else's life. Allowing them to dream these secret dreams.

Now, I've decided to publish online one story that I've written. I started learning painting too. I still have a lot to learn. The experience of brushing the colors in the canvass is a different kind of high. I will continue learning how to paint until I find myself painted on the canvass. I will continue writing and give being a published author a shot. 

I am saying YES again to these secret dreams.

Learning some painting techniques, I have a long way to go:

Trying to paint the northern lights

Wondering what shades Thalo Blue can have

The Bakit List - April

Expressions. Inspirations.

I've always considered myself as an artist but I haven't created anything more than just doodling.

Sure I've got my art projects selected during my grade school and high school years. I also considered Fine Arts for college but the better 'reasoning' of me made me choose to take Engineering instead. Which I'm glad that I did naman but it somehow get me a little disconnected with the artistic and creative side of me. 

From my first day in college up to this day, logics and technicalities are my day to day battle. Yes, I call it battle as I cannot put my guard down because there is a feeling that if I did, I might stop learning. Working as a programmer means continuous learning technically. For people like me who's foundation is more on a creative side, being in a technical world is challenging. Not that I can't deliver as effective as my peers but there is always an urge to give in to my c-juices. My meeting notes are full of doodles by the way. And it helps me remember.

Whenever I get the chance to reconnect with my creative side, I easily give in. I bought things that I think I can make use of for a certain project in mind. I want to start painting, chisel some woods, and even create something out of clay. But all are still yet to be done. No matter how I tried to manage my weekends there's always been this weekend office work, weekend errands and duties that are equally tiring. 

I promised myself that at least in my lifetime I will be able to create something out of my entire being.

Why not try to have the 'best of both worlds'? or rather your personal 'both worlds'?

 

The BAKIT List - March

Nourishment. 

There is a certain place that reminds us how we were back in the day. These are the places that we remember our childhood. During my grade school years, I often walked along M.H. Del Pilar street from our home in Sto. Tomas  to our school in Palatiw. Often times, I go far beyond our school and 'tambay sa mga kaklase for practice kuno - from Palatiw Kaliwa to Palatiw Kanan hanggang dun sa 'Bilog' before Barangay Pinagbuhatan. 

Then as new thoughts and ideals came into my view and me being more than willing to embrace them all, this very street became as if its from a distant memory. I began exploring other streets, busy streets in fact - Pasig Blvd, Shaw Blvd, Recto, Espana, EDSA, Ayala Ave., and the list goes on. Until M.H. Del Pilar became too familiar and the remaining stretch became the street from the past. I never thought of walking along the entire street again and see how things are, thinking it must be pretty much the same. 

Then there was a sudden change. I have to travel the very same street every weekend. 

There I saw familiar spots, spot where we bought sago't gulaman. A spot where I skinned my knee. Even the same spot I got stranded because of a sudden flood. All those memories came back and it is kind of sweet to try to remember all those years. And now, every time I pass that street, I wish old friends are still there waving at me just like the old days. These kind of bittersweet reminiscing makes me wanting to visit all those streets that I used to go when I was younger. 

And so I did. 

I never expected that doing so even just for a day will be nourishing. It is as if you become that child again yearning to learn something new but this time trying to make up of those things that you think you knew and rediscover them. And you'll find yourself happy and excited about the things that you discover. Things that I wanted to share to my nieces and nephews and their friends for them to create their own memories. 

A spot that is nourishing...

And as I continue rediscovering my hometown I found this...

something nourishing... nourishing your soul and tummy :)

The BAKIT List - February

Boracay Alone.

I've always wanted to try going to Boracay and spend the entire weekend there and just bum in the beach.

Not that I did not enjoy the company of my family and friends when we went there, it's just that I wanted to see for myself how it will feel like to be in a paradise on your own but not actually being alone. I've always wanted to see if I can have that kind of adventure similar to Leo DiCaprio's THE BEACH - which happens to be one of my favourite movies.

So I packed my bag and flew to Boracay.

I booked a budget hotel through Airbnb. I did not have any itinerary in mind, the plan is to just sit there, see and observe the people hoping there might be someone who is crazy enough to actually look for "the personal pure shores" just like me.

Anyways, so here's how my adventure went.

I received a notification early morning that the flight will be delayed for three hours. The new flight schedule will be at 2:30 instead of 11:30. I just spent the entire Saturday morning searching for activities I might want to do but I see same old stuffs. Things I've already done.

Fast forward to 4pm, I'm already at station 2. The budget hotel is located near the Caticlan hospital and at the back of the Mandarin Hotel. With my big backpack I was going back and forth, up and down the streets cause I can't see where Mandarin is. The hospital is under renovation too. There seemed no alley or any road that would lead me to the location. I asked some local if they know the 'hotel' but nobody seemed to know. I just continued walking trying to find an alley going to the beach and from there I thought I will be able to see where Mandarin is located and be the starting point of finding the budget hotel.

From the inside of the un-named facade.
The place is actually cozy and clean. With nice comfy bed, aircon, heater and tv. With WiFi too.

Lucky enough that an un-named building has this door which looked familiar. I searched through my phone for the booking that I have and confirmed that indeed, that was the hotel I am going to spend two nights in.

After dropping my bag, my adventure began..

or shall I say, my laid-back weekend began.

First photo from my phone. The Crowd of Boracay.

Yummy Calamansi Muffin.

Because I arrived late, I just stroll around D'Mall

Preparing for my Day 2. 

The Beach on my Day 2.

BonBon Cafe is always dependable for a chill afternoon with tasteful choice of music.

I did not realise that my order is actually good for 2-3 persons. Yay!

Inside the cafe that sells Churros waiting for the sunset.

AND THEN THE SUNSET

Forgive me for this shameless selfie.

I secretly danced with Poi. haha

And another Selfie. I bought the Garlic and Lime dip. Yumminess from Piri-Piri.

LAST DAY PICS...

I did not have the adventure I am (wishfully) hoping for but I have the entire weekend just being me.

Not a son nor a brother. Not a friend nor a colleague. I just sat there, watching the sunset, watching the waves rushing through the shore and watching people go around and about. 

I just sat there and felt the calm I never knew I needed.

I just sat there idly taking a break from the harassments of the city life. Hearing and feeling no one but me. 

Bakit di ako tumigil saglit? That was 'the bakit list' for February that I set for myself.

But deep within I am humming a familiar song that goes "manahimik ka't maging akin muli".

The BAKIT List Kickoff winner

So much to my surprise someone sent me a message...

The Kawayan Watch is taken. Hahahaha

The BAKIT List

Hello . It's been ages since my last entry here. Too bad I wasn't able to write about my few travels and everything significant that has happened. I forgot my password too. Good thing that I have the app in my iPad. It feels a little weird typing and blogging not on an actual keyboard though.

Anyways, what brings me back here?

Actually when the new year came, I promised myself to do more of the things that I love doing and even promised to try something new. I promised myself that each month I'm going to do stuffs that I haven't done before. i will call it "The BAKIT List". Bakit hindi ko gawin ang mga bagay na ito? something on that sort of things... 

For January, i thought of being lost somewhere in the metro and try to "tambay" there. It should be on a weekend. Yes, that was the plan. Just open the google map, search for a street i might just thought of without knowing if it really exists and go there. Eat and look for the best thing I might encounter. 

Sadly, today is the last day of the month and nothing has materialized. (Screw work and them slave drivers). Now, I still have like 6 hrs left before this day ends and still thinking what else can I do that could be something else and post-worthy that whoever might stumble upon this writing will learn something too. I still cannot think of anything. I am under the weather so I cannot just go out and do just what I have intended to do. m

So just to kick this idea off. I'll do this with a bang. I thought of a little game. (For those who resides in the Philippines only) Whoever came across this post and the first to message me in facebook will have one of these Kawayan Watches :). Yes, you have to search for me, if you aleady know me and we are friends in fb, then it would be easy. If not, a friend request won't hurt) Just send me a message that you read about this post and why you want to have that Kawayan Watch. Of course it will be yours whatever your answer is, I just want to know.

I am not sure if if i will ever be able to send the watch, nobody reads my blog anyways! hahaha but if it happens that someone really send me that message. It would be a pleasant surprise!

Bakit watch? It symbolizes the best gift that we'll ever have - the time. 

Mabuhay Pilipinas. Bangon Pilipinas.

Random thoughts coming.
I just feel like doing this, 1.25AM and not sleepy.

Every morning since Yolanda struck the Philippines, I found myself crying here in the comfort of my blue-and-white-striped room. I've been reading articles online and watching every video there is and while seeing those I can't keep myself together, I always get those tears falling. One reason kung bakit di ako makalabas agad ng kwarto. I am helpless as well, the only thing I thought that I can do was to donate money through the church collection, through redcross, through online donations and even through the company I am currently working. I'm not bragging about it and actually I'm not sure if I should right about it, but that's quite a sum of money. I'm not wealthy and I don't earn that much but I feel like giving my entire month salary to the victims. I know that wouldn't be enough. I still need to do something. I know its going to take a lot to rebuild a city. And I want to say like the rest of every Filipino, I'm also up for the job.

I can't imagine the loss, the grief, the trauma and every little bit of desperation people out there was feeling. Watching the first videos of Yolanda's fury, I feel like 'teka lang, this is familiar.. o right! similar to the apocalyptic movies'. And it was horrific to actually know that that wasn't a movie. That was real life. That is real life. And this is my fellow countrymen. I feel sorry for them, I feel sorry for myself too.

Few weeks back, we were battling those robbers and thieves who took away our hard-earned money. I am pissed off with the politicians who keeps fucking us up. Yung may mga kapal ng mukha na insultuhin pa ang katalinuhan ng mga tao. This is how dirty the politics here. When someone wanted to do things right, the involved officials ALWAYS have something to say to save their asses, insulting the intelligence of the people they are supposed to give their service to, people they should have been protecting but end up being abused by THEM.

Back to Yolanda.
Meron nang mga warnings bago pa dumating si Yolanda. In fact, they've already categorized it as Signal No. 5. Of course, we didn't know how strong it could be, no one experienced it. We had signal No.4 and we always made it after. With a little humps and bumps, we always get through it.
But with Yolanda, I think, di talaga tayo makakapagprepare sa ganitong klase ng kalamadid. Pero and di ko lubos maisip eh dumaan na ang bagyo, the city was flattened. Madami na ang nasira, madami na ang nawala, kasama sa nawala yung mga batang di na maririnig ng mga magulang nila na kumanta o tumawa. Kasama sa nawala yung mga nanay na maggagabay sana sa mga batang magiging mabuting tao. Kasama sa nawala yung mga tatay na matatakbuhan nila at makakapitan sa lahat ng oras. Kasama sa mga nawala yung buong buhay nilang pinagtrabahuhan. Kasama din sa nawala yung mga tambay sa kanto na sila lang yung nakakaalam kung ano ba talaga ang plano sa buhay ng kapwa tambay, di na makikita kung ano ung mga potensyal nila. These are all gone. We have already realized the losses right after Yolanda left the archipelago. But hey, there are still survivors who can tell their stories. These survivors needs every bit of our attention in the fastest way that we can.

Pero nasan na ang mga taong dapat nating takbuhan. Sure there are government officials who acted quickly, but as an individual. We needed the government not just one or two officials. We needed your expertise in handling situations like this. How come you are still talking about for 2 and a half hours how to clear the streets to get into the victims when you should have done that before Yolanda arrive? You should have somehow planned that ahead.

Anyways, I think the same sentiments have already reached these officials. I'm not going to say incompetent if there are other words to describe them. I, personally, despise these politicians and even the effin' broadcasters.

I don't want to talk about them, I am actually shaking right now because of anger.


Looking at the brighter things, I want to thank Yolanda for coming here in the Philippines. Not that I feel like it is okay she passed through our land, I still wish she did not.
But that's the reality now. It happened.

I want to thank Yolanda for bringing the best in every Filipino.
I want to thank Yolanda for letting the Filipino see what the government is capable and not capable of.
I want to thank Yolanda for touching the hearts of every Filipino and lighting it with the desire to rebuild not just the affected region but the entire nation. (So to those some f*ing politicians, you cannot f* us up anymore, you better run for cover cause here we are right behind you, very much ready to return the favor, we will be f*ng you ten times worst than you did us.)
I want to thank Yolanda for getting the attention of all the human being in this planet and made them realize that we are not in the race for power nor the race to be the first in economy, where one must be labeled as champion and the rest are losers. Yolanda made us realize that the only race we are all in is actually the other definition of it - human race.

I want to thank Yolanda for touching the hearts of every nation and letting us all see and witness and feel the wonders of caring and giving and loving, regardless of your citizenship, your ethnicity, your religion and even of your bank accounts.

I want to thank Yolanda for choosing the Philippines to be the place where all nations unite for the common cause. I want to thank you because from this day forward, everyone will speak of our country, how we were devastated, bent down on our knees and how we were able to put back the pieces of what you broke. Every nation and every country who have helped us will take some pride that they too contributes in rebuilding this country. The Philippines will be a great example of how different countries which have different interests and different beliefs laid down their differences for the common goal.

Thank you Yolanda for letting the Filipino learn from other countries and we somehow know now what we should be doing, what bricks to build to secure a stronger nation. Thank you also for showing the world what they can learn from us, you take away our beloved but you cannot take the spirit that we have. In fact, other countries takes in that spirit too. You made it multiply.
And like what Mr. Anderson Cooper have said, knowing our story, they have learned how to live.

Your victims will forever be remembered and their names will be spoken as we stand on our feet.

The Impossible

This movie is so touching I feel the need to write about it.

Well, this is one of the survival stories from the tragic event that happened 8 years back in Thailand.

This, I think is one of the greatest story telling I have seen in films. The actors are awesome and deserved a round of applause and standing ovations, from Naomi and Ewan to the three kids. They were able to deliver what the story is about and that is not just about the tsunami.

The key points I so loved in this film are:

1) Maria risking everything to save Lucas. I think parents will do just that but sometimes they too can get helpless.

2) Henry making the phone call and broke down. Strangers felt for him and actually put him back together.  That scene is by far the best I've seen from Ewan. I really felt it.

3) Lucas growing up in an instant. Doing EVERYTHING that is needed in that moment.

4) Tomas being just a kid and then Henry told him to look after Simon and he knew he needed to do that. For a time, he needs to do something which is way beyond his age.

5) Simon and Tomas shouting Lucas' name during their reunion. Enough said.

These are just five scenarios that held me on my seat, raised my heartbeat and ruined some salts. I think what made me like this film is that - while you are watching a real life event, at the back of your mind, there is something that is processing. And it is not about your thoughts of what will you do if you were actually there, faced with the tragedy. It is more of your thoughts on how long can you keep your hopes up when it seemed to be gone.

Davao Trip

October 12-15, 2012.

Destination: DAVAO CITY

Mountainous Terrain of Mindanao Welcoming Me :)

My very first trip to Mindanao. Thanks to Charm for booking this vacation as our, with Aina, birthday treat to ourselves, we celebrated our birth month in this adventurous city of Davao.

Day 1.

We arrived at Davao International Airport around 8AM and headed to our temporary home for 2 days - Casa Leticia.

After having our breakfast, we started with our itinerary.

First stop: Philippine Eagle Center

At Davao International Airport

Philippine Eagle Center breeds and protects our nearly extinct Philippine Eagle a.k.a. Monkey-Eating Eagle. This happens to be the biggest bird I ever saw. They look so grand and majestic most especially when it spread its gigantic wings.

After meeting the Philippine's National Eagle, we decided to have our lunch in Penong's which is half-an-hour ride from the center, It was already past 2pm then. Unfortunately, Penong's is open from lunch time and dinner time only. The store is close at 2-5PM. We just had our lunch at Chowking.

Right after having lunch, we headed to EDEN's Garden Resort which is actually in the mountains. We went there via habal-habal or the single motorcycle. It was my first time to ride a motorcycle but I enjoyed it. With the cool mountain breeze and spectacular view. The ride was long though, but yeah, i had fun with the whole ride.

Habal Habal Ride

At the Bird Walk

Eden's Garden Resort Playground

Pathway

For some reason, or some lack of luck, the resort doesn't have a scheduled tour that day. So I would advise for those who planned to visit the resort, check first the available tour. The resort is so huge you cannot go around it by foot. So without the car they use for their tour, we strolled around a portion of the resort. We saw different species of birds and butterflies. They do have the 'indiana jones' activity area where one can enjoy the 'rope ride' and of course there is a playground that bring us back to our childhood.

After the Eden Garden Resort Tour we went back to our hotel which is like another hour ride.

Day 2:

Water Rafting Day.

We spent almost the whole day water rafting.

IT WAS FUN. 

I admit, I am afraid of the waters but the staffs made an assurance that all there is, is FUN!.

And yeah I loved it.

The Davao Wildwater Adventure's office is in the Crocodile Park, so we had the chance to see the crocodile breeding center. Near the center, there were other activity areas like zip-line and Zorv. :)

We had our dinner in Jack's Ridge and bought pasalubong's at Aldevinco.

Day 3:

Chilling at Pearl Farm Beach Resort.

Boy, the pineapple juice is a knock-out! The best pineapple juice I ever tasted.

We had day tour in this resort just chilling and relaxing.

Then we had our dinner in Toryano's which is known for their native chicken meal.

Day 4:

Chema's by the sea.

I can't say much of this resort but I commend it's beautiful casitas.

We checked out at lunch time and we then had our lunch and sumptuous desserts at Lachi's restaurant.

The last stop for the trip is the Bankerohan Market where we bought Pomelos and Mangosteens.

Well. This is a tiring trip actually but all-in-all it has been awesome!